just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
