I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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