Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There are leaves in my underwear?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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