Me too!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
one two three fourrrrnication!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
