Kiss
Puke
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize