Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
