The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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