just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
