Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
