even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
