Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize