I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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