You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
