If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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