She's JV to your varsity
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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