Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
