i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
