All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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