this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
