this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i think im in europe. pls send help
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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