after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
birth control should be required to get into college
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize