My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
