just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
