Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
