Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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