I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
