just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
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