i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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