the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Randomize
