How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
