We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
