Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
