Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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