We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
