i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
