I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need a burrito and a hug.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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