i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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