If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize