And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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