please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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