Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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