Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
