I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
