yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
