I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
