Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
