New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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