Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
