a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
