It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
