hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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