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I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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