what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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