"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
