So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
