So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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