Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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