Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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