Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
