he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
