I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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