So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize