I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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