loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize