We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
