Apparently you make a good broom.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
