I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i out mim tonsoeep
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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