Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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