If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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