Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
