At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
