I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
