the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
