butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
