Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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