It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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