I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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