Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
