You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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